Friday, May 27, 2005

Goodbye, goodbye, I will always feel a great attachment to you ALL

"Lady Iris, will you ring for my wrap?" (and get rid of those damned COWBELLS)"

No, really, I love you all, I love you ALL, you all know who you are, every one of you, or maybe you don't, but I love you with such fierceness, such mad glad hunger I wish I could squeeze you all, sing to you all, scream it dance it draw it, whatever, because oh yeah, I love you. All of you! And I also love everyone you love, and by association everyone they love, until it touches everything, pretty much.

Everyone I have ever loved, know this, I love you still. Romantic love, fraternal love, filial love, friendship, combative love, lying love, cowardly love, all of it, all of you, I love you still.

It's not just the triple caffeine, it's this overwhelming welling up that always comes with a summing up, and I dream about you, all of you, every one of you, still, and I wake up smiling, or crying, or aching, and none of it ever leaves me, suffers a sea change maybe, but never leaves, you're all rolling around in the surf of my love, all the wrack and treasure alike, oh, I wish I could see every one of you, in the flesh or as a disembodied spirit, just peek in and bless you all, and heap you with goodness and happiness and wonder and health, I am so totally in love with everyone I have ever known right now. And I miss you all. I miss you!

I love the story of the Zen Master who, toward the end of his life, became so filled with love that he had to give up teaching, because he had lost the fierceness required, and could only sit on his cushion crooning love songs to his disciples...

That's how I feel at the moment. Give me a zither, or a washboard, and I'll sing it.
Be thou me, west wind, and blow it across the whole world, over all of you, even the ones I barely knew, even the ones who were only (you're never) tangential, even the ones I betrayed, or who betrayed me, yeah, even you.

This mood won't last. But right now I'm a kamikaze, on a henry-miller high, spitting out franc pieces and rising like a kite.
"World I cannot hold thee close enough."
"If we had world enough and time"

Yeah, I'm in love with every last one of you.
Just thought I'd say it somewhere.
God, grant me when I die the chance to fly around and peek in on every single one I've ever, just one last time.

love,
me

2 Comments:

Blogger Jonnie 7-11 said...

Even Richard Nixon?

8:01 PM  
Anonymous amyjo said...

especially him

11:59 AM  

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