Friday, January 13, 2006

I am not the most logical of women even on those "sane days" the tampax commercials never mention and well, after a week of playing the good sport, lending my favorite dress to my much-buffer-more-toned-and-buxom younger sister who always looks better in my clothes than I do (thereby ensuring that I will never wear them again: the ones I don't give to her on the spot, that is; this is the same sister who fell in love with the man I was in love with and was sleeping with until he fell in love with her as well, thereby plunging the three of us into an Oedipal nightmare that we are only just waking up from) to wear for the wedding, doing my older sister's hair, smiling at the Bad Smell and pretending that I really wasn't completely self-absorbed and self pitying because I was the only person at the wedding who was Single; and giving myself little Jane Austen type lectures about affection and duty; and then feeling underneath it all how unloveable and outright doomed I am to spinsterhood and poverty and not wanting to take it on the chin or take one for the team because I am so filled with entitlement that I have to be the center of the universe just like everyone else, I am tired.

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